Well, fact is, sometimes I get really depressed. I can’t do a thing about it. I start hitting my head with stuff, jabbing screwdrivers into my legs and so on. It’s a huge pressure to keep it to myself at work, and when I get home, it explodes.
End result is, I am complaining all the time in game, and making other people angry with me and I am getting angrier with myself all at the same time. So last night after we wiped in Council of Nine, I just refused the rez, logged off, and played WoW until bedtime.
Soloing is relaxing. And what’s more, playing with people who don’t know me is a break. I don’t know why I feel it is okay to abuse my friends online, when among strangers, I am much better.
Maybe with this blog, I can chart moments of depression, and see if they have any sort of pattern.
I don’t want to turn this into a pity-me whinefest, though. Everything I write seems to end that way, and I can’t bear to look at it ever again. I guess it’s cathartic, being bitchy, but I don’t want to see myself in that way.
Nicolas Cage finds catharsis in archery in The Weather Man. Sounds like a good movie.
A movie I’m undecided about is Jarhead. With a daughter and a son-in-law in the Marines, this movie hits close to home.
My daughter says she may have to go to war late next year. 2000 Americans have died there so far, and they estimate, 30,000 civilians. I don’t know how we can win this war. If we were invaded, wouldn’t we fight, and keep fighting?
