Speak, friend, and flush

Via boingboing, news of toilets in Finland that unlock when you text “open” at them.

“I’m pooped!” said Sam as he staggered beneath the dozen or so backpacks Frodo, Merry, and Pippin had piled upon him after the pony Bill had been sent back to Bree. “Just wiped out,” he added, his face red from his strained breathing. “I’m feeling a little flushed, to tell you the truth. My old Geezer always said, ‘Sam’, he said, ‘don’t you never think nothing about no telling a falsehood!'”
Sighing, Frodo glanced tiredly at Sam. After a month of travel, his friend’s songs and poems had devolved into a steady stream of bad puns. Anything could set him off. Breakfast. That was always a bad time for the Fellowship. “Stop it, Sam.”
“Aye,” he agreed, “I do feel a bit stoppered up. You might even say I feel a bit drained, sir. But pardon me for sayin’ so, but yer in deeper than I, and mind you don’t leave a ring. Yup. Yuppers. Shall we be taking a plunge in this murky lake here, then?”
“I’ll show YOU a plunge you… you…” Frodo was eying sharp rocks in the vicinity when he felt Gandalf’s worn hand grasp him strongly by the shoulder.
“Patience, young Frodo. We do not yet know what part Master Samwise may play in the days to come. Many that live deserve death. But many that die, deserve life. Can you give it to them? Even the wise cannot see all ends.”
“One more, Gandalf… just one more… and I’ll be willing to chance it.”
Sam smirked at Frodo as Gandalf turned back to the massive, closed gate to the ancient Dwarven city of Moria. “Here we stand, broken-hearted; paid a penny and only far…”

1 thought on “Speak, friend, and flush”

  1. I live in Finland. Why do I have to read about this stuff here instead of it being the main topic of evening news or something? :p
    That sounds surprisingly reasonable, as long as one can read the instructions (usually provided in Finnish, English and Swedish here) and the cell phone hasn’t run out of battery on the way. Or some teenager might have their SMS limit capped for the month. Hehe.

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