It’s not the game’s fault you moved on.

Okay, get ready for some links.
Most people are pretty content to just remember EverQuest as some game they played once, years back, before WoW came along. Many people tried the new games and went back to EQ. Some never left.
Then there’s the odd sort of people who felt they couldn’t leave, even though they had absolutely zero interest in it any more. Such was the sad fate of Loral, the custodian of what was once the premier (only?) EverQuest blog, Mobhunter. From his writing, he seems to have wanted to quit the whole thing a couple years or more ago. Recently he started coving WoW instead. He recently quit to play D&D fourth edition instead of any MMO. Fantastic!
But he couldn’t leave it alone. When the Living Legacy promotion was announced, he took it as if it were a bullet aimed at his heart, and he wrote a creed best summarized as: People left EQ because they HATED YOUR STUPID AWFUL UGLY GAME. Your Living Legacy promotion is WORTHLESS. If you changed your game substantially and in every way — I STILL WOULDN’T COME BACK. STOP HOUNDING ME.
Well, that’s how I read it, anyway.
But that’s okay. Loral has been leaving EQ for a long time, and if that gives him the catharsis he needs to make a clean break — fantastic. You know, if you don’t like a game anymore, you don’t need to get upset or rewrite the fun times you had into miserable times — just walk away. If anyone asks, tell them you have played a long time, and now you want to try something new. You don’t have to demonize the game to leave it!
I responded at length on Michael Zenke’s write-up of the post over on Massively. I kinda accuse him of being complicit, but the post he made doesn’t (any longer?) support that. Mea culpa. Point I was making is, it’s okay to grow tired of a game. That does not make that game evil or bad, just… something you played, and then you moved on.
I was taking a break and catching up on my blogs, and noticed a post by Saylah over on Mystic Worlds about leaving WoW. See? That’s how you leave a game. By moving on, gracefully. She doesn’t go over and explain all of WoW’s ills, and that the game is in such poor shape that even if they tried to fix them all, the game would still be trash. She is just saying goodbye to a chapter of her gaming life as she and her family start another.
Hey, I left EQ for over a year. When I left, I couldn’t bring myself to even log in once more. But I knew it was me that had changed, not the game, and that the fun times I had there were still fun.
What is it about MMOs that inspire such deep feelings? You don’t see any dark screeds about how Tetris was a horrible, awful game because someone played it for a year and now plays Peggle.

11 thoughts on “It’s not the game’s fault you moved on.”

  1. I think a lot of the angst caused by MMOGs is a direct result of the amount of time the games call for us to invest in them. There’s a sort of attachment to a world and a character that someone who spends even just a few months playing simply doesn’t develop when playing something less demanding.
    But then, I suspect you knew that when you asked the question. 🙂

  2. Its strange how people develop this employment-like attachment to MMOs. Like a dead-end job, or a bad relationship, they keep playing long after they start to dislike the game, and by the time they finally do make the break, the animosity has grown to the “hate” level, and on the way out the door you end up saying things that you regret.

  3. Dear NES Ice Hockey,
    By the time you read this note I’ll be gone. I have been seeing another hockey game. Yes, it is Blades of Steel. Things just were not working out between us anymore. You have a bunch of fat guys skating around. There are no fat guys in Blades of Steel. Your fighting is a bunch of guys standing next to each othermirror swapping their sprites. Blades of Steel fights like a real man. I’d like to say I will always treasure that time we beat Russia together in overtime but it all seems so cheap now. You tricked me into thinking your gameplay was good. You lied to me with your palette swaps instead of real team differences. I hate you Ice Hockey.
    Me
    PS. I took the shower curtain
    PPS and the ice cube trays

  4. I agree with both comments. There is a huge emotional attachment to a game played over the span of a few years. MMOs in particular because of the avatar. I’ve stopped playing other games and only comment on my departure in passing. However, when you put 3+ years into a game, one that had your whole family playing together, arranging meals, getting homework and after work done before raids and organizing Sunday events around even more raiding, that’s a whole other level of commitment and attachment.
    One of my funniest memories about WOW in real life is when I was sitting in a meeting that was running way over. It was schedule lated in the day to begin with. Our guild was doing MC and I was the Warlock left in the instance along with two others to re-summon the raid so we didnt have to re-clear trash. The minutes are going by and I’m calculating in my mind the time it will take to drive home, shower, cook something fast and log in – well log in first because Illidan had massive queue times even back in the day.
    So this meeting is going no where fast and I finally say, “Look I have to get out of here, I have to get to a raid.” It was a priceless unplanned moment when my thoughts about WOW spilled out of my mouth. A few of the guys knew I played and laughed. For the others, I gave a hasty explanation while I packed up my stuff and sprinted out of the conference room. LOL That is what WOW meant to us at one time. 🙂

  5. Wow…interesting post
    I just posted about leaving EQ2 ..
    I played for almost a year…and I think that is the breaking point for MMO’s for myself and my wife.
    But, the attachment is really not enough for me to come out with some big tirade..
    I made small notes of how quiet EQ2 got…and it is noticeable…
    The numbers were not large for a weekend, and it is several factors..summertime, new MMO’s, etc…
    Or as one of my guildies put it…the bane of the “Casual” player..
    No matter the issue, MMO’s have really changed how I and probably many others play games…we get attached to the social aspects of these worlds, and we want certain things for those worlds..friendship, adventure..even love or hate…you name it..
    And for us to leave, it is like leaving a relationship…you may cry at first, then you will get angry…but eventually there is acceptance (note…this was how my feelings for LOTRO changed…I have finally accepted that it is just a bad game…oh wait…lol)
    Cheers to everyone…and take care

  6. Tipa…
    I found your blog about a month ago and I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading it. I played EQ from release day in ’99 ’til around Summer 05 on Mith Marr.
    I’ve been reliving a lot of old memories vicariously thru your blog. So many good memories and people. No MMO has ever, and none probably ever will, come close for me. Keep on having fun and sharing it with us !

  7. Like JoBildo said, I think it has to do with the inordinate amount of time we often spend within these games, and how important an element of our daily lives they become.
    Anytime people become so vested in something, they begin to act somewhat irrationally about it. You can see the same thing in arguments about which game is better (or if we look outside the world of mmo’s, you can see it in arguments about mac vs. pc, ps3 vs. xbox360, and so on) and you begin to realize that, mostly, people are simply trying to justify how much time they spend in these games by ensuring the game they choose to play is the best choice.
    All of this passion swings to the other side once said person decides to quit. The game becomes the worst thing imaginable and not only are they quitting, but everyone else should too! It’s simply a way for them to deal with the change and again reinforce their decision to turn their backs on all the time spent (or wasted, as they will often decide in bitterness).
    I agree with your assessment though, Tipa, that we should instead think of the good times and realize that those memories were worth it, and even if we have changed and can no longer enjoy the game the same way, it doesn’t change the fact that we were in love, at least for a time, with one of these amazing worlds.

  8. The proper way to quit any game is to kill older raid bosses with a outragesiously small group of friends. That way you have fun going out with a bang and you confirm that mudflation is ruining the game anyways. Me and two friends went around and killed all the Kunark dragons before leaving Everquest and we did the same with Onyxia/Zul’gurub before leaving WoW. I’m sure we’ll think of something impressive to do in Age of Conan when we get tired of it, I’m looking at you Thoth Amon.

  9. Heh… my rogue two boxing with my cleric, and an SK friend, used to go and do Sontalak, Vindi and Statue, just us. The loot was all crappy though… but it was fun.

  10. You know, I go back a ways with Loral. When I made the server move from Seventh Hammer to Quellious, it was because my guild of 5 years on 7th had folded. I picked Quell specifically because I had been a long-time reader of Loral’s fan fiction and really just wanted to hang out with him since we seemed to appreciate the same aspects of the game. In short, I like the guy and always had tremendous respect for him.
    However, his complete 180 concerning EQ has annoyed me completely. One day, he is writing about EQ, his love for the game and how he hopes it will go on forever. His next article, he is testing out Warcraft and had already begun to eviscerate EQ. In subsequent articles, even articles that were supposedly only about an EQ expansion, he spoke more of Warcraft than EQ and took shots at EQ design and development with every other word.
    That has always bothered me. People play a game. They get attached. They move on. The fact that they have found a new game to enjoy in no way takes away or cheapens the days/months/years of enjoyment that the previous game gave them. What is it that drives people to suddenly need to go from an outspoken evangelist for a game to an outspoken evangelist for naming that same game the digital anti-christ in the amount of time it takes to sneeze?
    With some people, I can see it coming. I knew guys who were always standing on the bitch-box griping about all elements of EQ. Anytime people got sick of hearing it and suggested, “If you hate it so bad, quit,” they responded with, “I would if there was anything else to play.” You can see the angst coming from them.
    It’s the others that I’ll never understand. You enjoyed the game. It had a solid place in your life. Your time there is over. Move on and get over it.

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