Straight Talk Warhammer: The Inevitable City

40 long years ago, an intrepid Swiss scientist first discovered that aliens had come to Earth many times in our past, always guiding mankind toward sapience, civilization, and the stars. They made us who we are today, and they brought us Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning.
Only the alien intelligences that have already brought us public quests, open groups, the Tome of Knowledge and Realm vs Realm could bring us the dark wonders of the Inevitable City.

Simulated Warhammer screenshot

So, you’re a Greenskin, or a Dark Elf, or whatever those creepy little toothy things are, and some disgusting Order folk come marching up. Naturally, you want to kill them, and they you, it’s just rousing good fun.
But let’s say they get past, get into the city, start killing stuff, who’s going to stop them? The forces of darkness? Like they’re gonna lift a finger to protect some NPCs and merchants. Probably the same merchants that charged double the going price for food ’cause of the growing unrest in the area. See, the evil guys are always thinking, always scheming. They’re gonna let the Order folks waltz right in… close the doors, and then head over to the good guy city for fine dining on the hoof.
Because you know? Good is, essentially, stupid. The Destruction folks will say, well, there can be peace in our time. But you have to give US something. And the Order guys will say, like, what? And the Destruction guys will say, well, we think we want us some dwarf. And the Order guys will say, okay, go ahead, they’re really smelly. And then the Destruction guys will push the advantage, and be all like — AND we want the Witch Hunters! So how do you like THAT? And the Order guys will say, huh? Why would you want THEM? And the Destruction guys will go, well, we have all the WITCHES. Just makes sense.
And then the Order folk will stand around looking like a bunch of geese that thought Interstate 95 was the Mississippi River. Kind of dumb, and then, BAM, up comes a semi, and it turns out nobody has to have the smelly dwarfs after all.
So when you see a bunch of Order folk looking kinda dazed, standing in a circle, maybe giving each other a comforting hug, probably that was just some Destruction people having a little bit of fun.
Because good is STUPID.
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We all really appreciate you coming by for our third exclusive feature on Mythic’s newest MMO, Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning. Remember: Mythic is going to beat the pants off of Blizzard, because while the folks in Irvine may have “World of Warcraft”, Electronic Arts has Ultima Online, and guess which one the terrorists are using to train?

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