What the heck do I do with my free time? I always feel guilty when I look at the games in my backlog. I want to emphasize that these are physical games, usually, because I am an old crusty Luddite and don’t really trust that the digital games I “buy” are really mine in any sense of the word.
That can backfire on me, sometimes. But I still like to do it because I can hold them, read the manual if they have one, lend them to other people to play, maybe sell them at some point (which I never do, but…). I bought Panzer Dragoon Saga for the Sega Saturn in new condition, complete in box, a long time ago for a $100. It now is listed for over a $1,000 on FleaBay. I dunno if it really sells for that much, but I bet I could get $750 for it, no questions asked, at any game store.
Try that with a digital download. (I DID have to, painfully and expensively, resurrect my Sega Saturn to play it recently, but it was worth it. Probably).
The real issue with collecting physical media is the sheer PHYSICAL-NESS of it. They sit in the corner, biding their time, wanting YOUR time… impossible to ignore.
Let me tell you about them.
I’ve written about this game recently. This started out digitally, for me, as a streaming game from my Playstation Premium subscription. It came out for the PS3 over a decade ago. I never heard of it. Played it on the stream, loved it, but when I wanted more, when I wanted the sequel — nothing.
I hated losing my characters, so I went to FleaBay and bought White Knight Chronicles II, the sequel, that included a remake of the first game. So I played through it and finished it again to get a save file that I could bring to the sequel. My boyfriend dug around and found his old PS3 so that I would have something to play it on. But after playing through the game twice, once right after the other, I was ready for a break. But, I still have that PS3 sitting on my desk, so…
I’d bought the Final Fantasy XIII strategy guide at a retro games store a few months back. I joked with my BF that this meant I would have to play it again. I’d bought it when it came out, but got frustrated with the game just before the action moved to the underworld of Gran Pulse, but I didn’t have a shiny strategy guide back then. When I saw the game at Connecticon the other week, I felt it was fate, or destiny, or something like that. I bought it and am almost now at the place where I quit the first time.
I honestly don’t know where my original copy is at the moment. Maybe… I bought it digitally, in which case I lost it when my old PS3 died, leaving me with no choice whatsoever than to buy the PS4 that had come out not long before.
This is a stand-in for all the Pokemon games I have yet to complete. Pokemon Legends Arceus, though, I finished. I captured Arceus. But the Pokemon Scarlet/Violet DLC is coming up, and I really want to run through one of the Pokemon Yellow remakes, Let’s Go Pikachu or Let’s Go Eevee. We’ll see. I was playing, for awhile, Arceus, Shield and Violet at the same time (and also Pokemon GO!), so I might be able to quell my urge to catch them all for awhile while I attack other games.
I fell hard for the original Octopath Traveler three years back, and really, really intended to just buy this the very moment it came out and rip right through it. It is sitting in front of me right now, still in its shrink wrap.
Part of the problem is that the first game was super fun and exciting and interesting, and then to get the true ending, I had to grind for a VERY LONG TIME to get powerful enough to beat the final boss. It was WAY more than I felt made any kind of sense. But, I did it. Feeling of accomplishment and all that.
I’m just a little unsure of when I’ll take that risk again. I know once I start it, I’ll play through. But is this going to be a hundred hours out of my life? The first one was MORE.
And why would I dive into Octopath Traveler II when I have The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom sitting right next to it?
(An aside: Why not the Legend of Link? Or why not let Zelda be the playable character? NEVER made any sense to me).
This game is just going to be a joyful time sink. I know I am going to love this game. But… time. Time I don’t have!!!
This remastered version of the SNES classic updates the graphics into the 2.5D style Octopath Traveler made famous. I got this at Connecticon along with Final Fantasy XIII, so it’s fairly new to my backlog. I never played the original, but it sounds like a game I would like, so I bought it.
So, not too bad, right?
No, it is much, much worse. THESE are just the games I have SITTING ON MY DESK. I should be playing through Guild Wars 2 in order to catch up to my friends. I should be finishing Final Fantasy XIV Endwalker so I can be ready for the next expansion. I should be looking into indie strategy games and writing about those. I loved doing that. I should be working on porting my Reversi game to AWS so I can get it in shape to let other people play it. I think it’s fun, but it isn’t ready for other players just yet.
I have two or three classic arcade games I want to put my own spin on. “Real Asteroids”, where asteroids are as far apart as they are in real life, and you only have so much fuel. “Ouchie Pong”, where your paddle takes damage when the ball hits it, eventually getting too scared to hit the ball if you aren’t careful, and “Pro Space Invaders”, where your shooter thingy can only move in one direction until it bangs helplessly against one side of the screen. I don’t know if that will be much fun to play. I’m just trying to think of quick projects I can do to build familiarity with a new game engine.
Which is another thing I have to do.
So. Backlog vs Me. I’m losing.
This is sadly such a vibe for me. I’ve been learning how to let it go, though, and just play what I want when I want. I still try to be mindful of buying new games, but the reality is, I’m probably never going to finish all of them.
I’m learning to be fine with that. (It’s not easy.)
I’m increasingly less convinced by the argument that physical is less ephemeral than digital. It ascribes a level of invulnerability to physical objects that just doesn’t exist. For example, I have about a thousand vinyl albums downstairs but half of them aren’t really playable because they’re too worn or scratched. My CDs and DVDs are still fine but my cassettes, both audio and video, are demagnetizing or whatever it is they do and most I try barely raise a hiss.
There’s not just wear, tear and entropic decay to consider, either. There’s fire, flood, carelessness and malice. I had to throw a bunch of albums away once because my cat peed all over them and I couldn’t get the stench out. At least with digital files you can store multiple copies in multiple locations and often you have the rights to re-download them at least as long as the company you bought them from exists, which seems to me not much different to “I own all my stuff until my house burns down” and possibly better.
I realize this comment is saying almost the opposite of the one I just left on Belghast’s blog but isn’t that all part of the fun of Blaugust?
I mean, these are different media. They don’t decay and can appreciate in value. But this reminds me of a story about vinyl records.
I had an amazing collection of records. I had some sweet bootlegs from the B-52s, Pink Floyd and others. A full collection of Mike Oldfield rare editions. A lot of local bands from the Monterey era. Bunches of stuff from when I worked at the college radio station (listen to the Freewaves, WUNH, 91.3 FM!). When I moved back to New England from California, I had to get rid of a lot of stuff. My non-working electric piano, an old trumpet, bunch of other stuff, and… heart breakingly… my vinyl record collection. I didn’t even have a stereo anymore. I only had MP3s and CDs.
I carted this stuff out to the trash area of the apartment complex where people often put stuff they didn’t need but someone else might. The next day, when I came back, everything was taken.
Except the records. I should have brought them home again.
Physical media is still my favourite thing. Sadly as a PC gamer it’s a little tougher these days, but I’m still collecting DVDs and books (and hopefully some day: vinyl), and a lot of the console games we own are physical.
Most or all my PC games are digital. Modern computers don’t even have CD drives in them anymore. The physical media is for the game consoles.
Retro stores carry PC games, but it’s pretty likely that even if they have all the disks, it will be impossible to run them. Bad media, require GameSpy or some other online service that no longer exists, etc.