EQ2: Why I Won’t Watch an EverQuest Movie

I just heard the news that SOE might be considering an EverQuest movie.
Now, I love EverQuest and have been playing since 1999; nearly eight years devoted to that game or its sequel. But you won’t find me warming a chair when it opens. I’ll tell you why.

It’s because I have seen the Dungeons & Dragons movie. And I have seen Conan the Barbarian. And I have seen The Sword and the Sorceror. And The Beastmaster. If there was a fantasy movie that came out in the 80s, no matter how bad — I saw it.
Every one had decent to great special effects. And they shared one other thing — they all had the same plot. Hero goes through some minor adventurers and gathers a party, then they all use their unique talents to defeat some big boss.
I don’t need to spend ten bucks or twenty bucks or whatever movies cost these days to see that same movie again with some names changed. I don’t need to hear a tale about a group of adventurers sent by a half-naked Firiona Vie to kill the dragon Trakanon before a legion of elite Iksar from Cabilis can free him to use him against the Ring of Scale.
Though that would be more creative than anything Hollywood would actually come up with.
I’ll go, though, if you tell me a story. Do what Final Fantasy 12 did — get mixed up in the politics, in the human story that regardless of the races involved, is what people remember.
Tell me about the dying days of the Combine empire. I’d love to see the epic struggle between the Katta and the Seru on the big screen. The factional struggle within Neriak between Lanys T’vyl and the more secular of the Thexians. I dunno. Make a movie about the Rivervale Jumjum festival.
SOE, I know you feel that since Blizzard is doing a Warcraft movie, you should do one as well. All I ask is that you dare to move out of your comfort zone. Find a good writer, maybe someone who has never written fantasy. I wonder what kind of script Neal Stephenson would write? Or Harlan Ellison? Or Paul Haggis? Or Christopher Nolan? You can afford these guys. They won’t write what you want them to write. But they will write something worth watching.
And that’s the kind of EverQuest movie I would pay to see.

3 thoughts on “EQ2: Why I Won’t Watch an EverQuest Movie”

  1. Great post, /agree all around.
    I think a Joss Whedon Everquest movie might be interesting. Joss tells a good story, but where he really shines, and what I think fantasy movies desperately need, is characterization. The standard archetypes have been done over and over and over. We get it. Peter Jackson got away with it because his movie was based on the works that created the archetype. Now we need to move on, and if anyone can create an ensemble cast of truly interesting characters, it would be Whedon.
    Pipe dream of course, but there it is.

  2. Ok so here I am trolling the blogs of my friends 🙂 I like to let them accumulate some so the reading doesnt take me a few minutes. Anyway I was thinking about this post and thought what if there is some new single group strat we could use to take down ubermobXXX I mean obviously if they create an EQ movie the group will be limited to 6 unless they form a raid, right? So hopefully a few of the main charaters get whacked and the plot changes slightly…. maybe the frost giants will invade Thurg and we get to watch an awsome battle that used to be really really fun 🙂
    I know you will see the movie… its in your blood… you can not avoid it no matter how hard you try not to…
    Hug
    Krask

  3. Remember when just the two of us took Vindi, Sontalak and Statue? 🙂
    Actually, though, if the movie was about organizing one of those old 72 person raids, the coming together of an army of people into a coordinated whole… that would be cool and unique…

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