I asked OpenAI’s GPT-3 to list fifty ways to leave your lover… I’m just trying to help out here, Paul Simon!
- Get a divorce
- Sell your house and move away
- Find a new job in a different city
- Join the military and get stationed elsewhere
- Go back to school full time
- Win the lottery and move to another country
- Pack up your things and move out without telling them where you’re going or why
- Tell them you’re moving out and leave while they’re at work/school
- Leave town for a weekend with no explanation and don’t come back
- Change your phone number, email address, social media accounts, etc., so they can’t contact you anymore
- Get a restraining order
- Tell them you’re seeing someone else and that you want to end things
- Send them a break-up letter or email
- Ghost them completely (stop all communication without any explanation)
- Unfriend/unfollow them on social media
- Change your appearance so they don’t recognize you if they see you in public
- Sell/give away their belongings that are still at your house
- Get rid of anything that reminds you of them
- Block their number and email address
- Move to a different city/state/country
- Go on a trip for an extended period of time (weeks, months, etc.)
- Study abroad for a semester or year
- Get a new hobby that takes up a lot of your time
- Volunteer for something that requires you to be away from home often
- Go backpacking/traveling alone for awhile
- Work on building up your self-confidence and esteem
- Find someone else to date/have as a rebound relationship
- Spend more time with friends and family members
- Focus on taking care of yourself and your own happiness first
- Get therapy to work through your issues
- Take a break from dating altogether
- Go on a social media cleanse and unfollow/delete anyone who isn’t positive in your life
- Declutter your entire life (physical space, digital space, etc.)
- Join a new gym or fitness class and get into shape
- Cut off all communication with their friends and family members too
- Give away anything they gifted to you during the relationship
- Donate their clothes to charity
- Clean out your shared closet and get rid of anything that reminds you of them or the relationship
- Cancel any joint plans/memberships/subscriptions
- Return any keys/cards/gifts
- Move any furniture they bought back to their house
- Uninstall any apps you only had because of them
- Get a new job
- Transfer schools
- Learn how to say “no”
- Find a creative outlet (painting, writing, etc.)
- Spend more time outside
- Create (and stick to) firm boundaries
- Set goals for yourself
- Focus on healing
